Attention people hosting holiday “white elephant” gift exchanges: If you want to have the best event possible, don’t offer the choice of “bring something you don’t want anymore or buy something” and listing a dollar amount, like $10-$20…because, in my experience, it ends up ruining the spirit and fun of what a white elephant gift exchange is supposed to be– a time of lots of laughs, no hard feelings– and REUSE.

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I can’t tell you how many “white elephant” gift exchanges I’ve been part of over the years where, if the option to bring a new, purchased gift is offered alongside bringing something used, there’s a lot of really nice, brand-new gifts that show up, mixed in with a few used, passed-along, quirky weird gifts, and some people (yes, grown adults) get really disappointed when they get something used and weird, especially if they brought a new, $20 gift to the party. Not a holly jolly experience for all, and not a true white elephant exchange– just…a not-so-well-planned gift exchange. Either make it an “everyone buys new” exchange or a true “white elephant” event.

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So, what’s a true white elephant gift supposed to be? Let’s look at the history first: Several sources say it dates back to a Thai king giving one of his real white elephants as a gift to anyone he didn’t like, because it would have drained the recipient financially just caring for the animal (an extravagant “gift” of no value because by law the king’s gift couldn’t be sold or given away)– Thai historians have debunked that and said it never happened, but the myth seems to have led to one of the longstanding names for “gift swap” (other names are “Dirty Santa,” “Thieving Elves,” and “Yankee Swap,” depending on where you live). Mentalfloss.com states that the notion of “white elephant parties” first started appearing in the U.S. near the early 20th century– people were encouraged to wrap and bring gifts that were “objects they wanted to get rid of.” Merriam-Webster defines a white elephant as an object no longer of value to its owner but of value to others; and something of little or no value.

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Yep, the ol’ “one’s person’s trash is another person’s treasure” idea. How great is that? It’s simply looking at your latest giveaway pile or your garage boxes of “junk” and picking something out and wrapping it up.

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True, there are some people who might have just gone through a major fall clean-out and/or had a garage sale and they can’t come up with anything. (In that case, a trip to a thrift store or vintage shop could result in something appropriate.) But, keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be something really old. Just something you don’t use or need. For example, a book that you’ve been hoping to read but probably never will. A funny T-shirt. A Christmas tree ornament that usually stays in the box and never gets put on the tree. A nice but empty photo frame that’s been stored away. A piece of jewelry. (For more ideas of “white elephant gifts from around the house,” click here.)

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True, the more ridiculous or retro the gift, the more laughs when someone opens it, but don’t feel bad if you don’t have something like that. A good white elephant party has a mix of the ordinary and outlandish.

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Bottom line, when all the gifts are pre-owned and everyone is “on the same playing field”, there’s just much more room for laughter and good feelings, period. And the laughs come from not only the items themselves, but the fact that people actually owned those items in the first place and held on to them–and when individuals share the story behind their item, it can bring on even more laughs. Better yet, if the same group gets together every year for the gift exchange, sometimes the funniest gift keeps reappearing…I remember a pair of thigh-high, high-heeled “stripper boots” that kept showing up in my neighborhood babysitting co-op’s annual holiday party, as well as a giant, singing, James Brown doll on a pedestal that danced along to the music (“I Feel Good!”).

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Of course, if you’re lucky, more reuse magic happens when you end up with an item that you really like and can use, that someone truly doesn’t want anymore– and no one else wants to “steal” it. That’s happened a few times for me, and it’s a win-win, because not only do you walk away happy, the giver is usually happy that their item is going home with someone who appreciates it.

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And, let’s not forget that the Earth (and your wallet) gets a present from a true white elephant gift exchange as well. Since you don’t have to buy anything, there’s no going out to a store and using fuel and money (or there’s no delivery truck coming to your door with a small item packed in a way-too-oversized box). At a time when you may be feeling the weight of too much spending and all the commercialism at the holidays, a true white elephant gift exchange is the antithesis of that. Yes, I think Charlie Brown would definitely approve!!

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Please comment below–any good white elephant stories? Memorable gifts?